Diverging Paths

We’ve all seen them, envied them:  They are the Cubicles of Unfathomable Awesomeness, beacons of style in the soulless sea of the modern workplace.  Is your cubicle unfathomably awesome?  Look for these tell-tale signs:

• Multiple pages from the Cute Overload Page-A-Day Calendar, the only calendar specially formulated to melt away those stressful brain cells.
• The almost-nearly-completely-as-cool calendar for the ASPCA!
• Pen. (Pens rock!)
• Telephone with more buttons than the Millennium Falcon.
• Web browser open to Google Analytics, bringing instant karmic enlightenment to statistics junkies.

And the crowning touch, the crème de la cool…

• Puppy in your in-box!

Cool pup + cool job = cool you, Ayumi S.

“So-called ‘puppydog eyes don’t exist!” you say. “PROVE IT” you say. “Prove it with photography from various Sender-Inners!”

OK then. Here goes:

CASE CLOSED!

Maverick the Anatolian Shepherd Dog by Kristin S. Black and white pup eyes look up by Amanda M. Irish Setter pupples by Paige P. Snow puppydog eyes by Amanda G. Bailey M. sent us puppy Stuart’s eyes. “Higgs Waking Up” is the work of Aurélia M. Jack the Pup is by Phoebe E., and finally, Gavin the Bernese Mountain Dog Puppulence is by Corliss. Final pup added last minute: Beagle mix by Martha P.

Sometimes, truth is funnier than fiction, so here’s sender-inner Kimberley H.:

This is little baby Rufi, our four-month-old chihuahua. He loves a bit of warmth, so when Nick my boyfriend called me from the bathroom to “show me something cute” I was initially a bit unsure… then lo and behold what do I see but Rufi nestled in the warm underwear nook!

Ew!

Will the world eventually sour from too much cuteness? This just in: Jim Windolf’s article “Addicted to Cute” just hit the magazine racks! It’s all about America’s love affair with Robert Pattinson all things cute. We got like, a quote in there! About squealing! [Head tilt eyes crossed]

Check it out…

The whole human-rights problem was upsetting enough, but now the People’s Republic of China has crossed the Rubicon and gone too far! From sender-inner Kristina D. comes this startling news (emphasis ours):

We were recently traveling in China and Tibet – were you aware that Cute Overload is blocked there?! It’s understandable though, outrageous cuteness threatens social stability, which is their greatest fear… We thought we would surely perish from CO withdrawal! But luckily there was plenty of cute Tibetan pooch action in Lhasa to keep us going.

How dare they block Teh Qte! This outrage can be met with nothing less than… The Glorious People’s Tongue-Hance of Democracy! PTHTFHTFTHPTT!

After extensive research, Dell gambled on their focus groups’ request for “something softer to the touch” and lost.

Triple click, Maria F.

…Because you’ve seen Hilda’s ears, right? It’s like two furry Venus Flytraps just sprouted out of  her head – oh, poo! Sweetie, did I not mention that I needed a French manicure today –anyway, I mean, Hilda has a cute face…it it weren’t for those pipe cleaners she calls whiskers. It’s like, ‘What, did a 5-year-old invent you?’

By the way, how do my brows look? It’s like the one thing Hilda does right, you know?

Um, no. I did not ask for two “creepy cocoons” to be placed above my eyes. Where is Hilda. I need to speak with her.

You could just use Chunk’s whiskers as Q-Tips, Deidra L.

“… and I really must say how nice it is to meet such a good listener, someone I can open up to and really express myself, because in this day and age, the art of conversation is on its last legs, what with texting and e-mail and all the distractions of modern life, I mean nobody really sets aside the time anymore for a good, old-fashioned chat, in fact I was just telling someone other day…”

Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek-aboo, Steve E.!

Golly, I suppose we did sneak up on you under the covers, didn’t we?  Frightfully sorry about that, old bean.  Anyway, once you’ve finished clutching your chest, would you mind getting us our breakfast?  Thanks ever so.

N-no m-m-more c-coffee for m-me, Christopher A.